I really hate the phrase “We will see” or “I’ll see”. In most instances it’s an open ended remark to keep you guessing and waiting. It introduces a new thought of hope. For maybe a split second or in some cases more, it allows the mind to let go of those doubts that circle around in your thoughts that you have come to know oh so well. But in actuality, there is no definite end in the foreseeable future. The phrase initiates a promise that something may or may not occur. It’s a filler statement used to save people from actually telling the truth, facing their fears or addressing the issues at hand….
the friend never the girlfriend….
the girlfriend never the wife…
the one who gets cheated on…
the one who is left lonely…
I often ask myself…
Will I ever be a priority in someone’s life?
Will I ever find love?
Am I allergic to love?
Is my love not good enough?
But then I remember…
Who the fuck I am and I continue on waiting….waiting patiently because…
Disappointment tries to slap me down at every corner but I smile in the face of disappointment because one day my day shall come and oh what a wonderful day it will be. Until then I will continue to be unapologetically me.
The emotion that can bring you the greatest fulfillment and the worse pain. It can fill your heart with a feeling of complete happiness or it can rip a hole in you so deep you become a skeleton of your former self. It is the most dynamic, fascinating emotion we as a people experience. No one can avoid it. It’s ever present, and constantly tugs at our inner self. Now, how you choose to deal with it belongs to you and you only. In a sense, you create your own manual of life experiences dealing with love, whether those experiences are filled with unicorns and rainbows or if they are consumed with fire and rage, you subconsciously continue to document, revise, and edit your own ever-changing personal manual outlining your varying reactions to love.
Just like everyone else, along my journey, I have learned and experienced the good, the bad and the ugly aspects of love. Taking those experiences and encounters, I have added to my own personal love manual a few basic rules I try to hold true to when going through the motions of any relationship.
First and foremost learn to love yourself first
Know your worth.
Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
State your expectations in the beginning, but DO NOT dwell on them or become discourage when they do not happen the way you envisioned
Be open but also be selfish with your heart.
Carve out time each week for “Alone Time”
Be honest no matter what
Never stop fighting for the honeymoon phase
If you are unhappy, be respectful and move on…don’t cheat
Do not become so consumed with your significant other that you lose your identity and purpose in life
Yes it is a strenuous time filled with thoughts of doubt, fear, what ifs but you just have to stay strong, be relentless in your pursuit and do your part to make things happen. And yes it’s a tough thing to overcome but once you do life seems so much more vivid. Your mind clears, you see things differently and you open yourself up to a whole new life of experiences and life lessons. You in essence take control of your life and happiness and embrace the fears of the unknown as they come…
The beat latches on to your eardrums ready to submerge you on a journey filled with dope music. The blend of melodic notes and keys begin to intertwine into a masterpiece meant only to consume you entirely in pleasure. You are intrigued. You are aroused. The lyrics begin and you allow them to caress your ears and slowly wander to your intellectual G-Spot. For 3 minutes and 30 seconds you experience a euphoric state of existence in which nothing else matters but THIS song. Even though you know this moment must come to a close, you are jolted back to reality. The experience is over. You are left satisfied and kissed with happiness as you continue on with your day humming and singing that tune that just won’t go away…
There are some songs that have lyrics with no meaning, only present to fill the void of a dope beat. Then there are songs with lyric that have true meaning that make an impression on your mind, body and heart in which there is a connection to the words; a submersion of self in the experience being portrayed lyrically and elevated by a sick beat. That’s the type of music I gravitate towards.
It begins with an energy…an urge
Urge leads to meditation
Meditation become emotion intertwined with feeling
Fragmented thoughts develop
Thoughts transform into words
Words become your puzzle…
Your challenge to express your feelings both meaningfully and passionately
Energy is released
Beauty evolves and a masterpiece is born.
“Don’t seek to have events happen as you wish, but wish them to happen as they do happen, and all will be well with you.” -Epictetus
Its natural to set high expections for yourself and often times for others, but the reality is in doing this you are setting yourself up for a life full of disappointments. Instead live in the moment. Stop worrying about what you think could happen, or what you think should happen. Every situation and people involved are ever changing meaning the expectations you have will in most cases not be your desired outcome. Simply embrace situations as they come and accept the responsibility of taking charge and owning the situation in that moment.
a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.